body reminders
I dreamt a few days ago that a woman in a classroom told me that I was pregnant. This happened again the next night. I awoke with semi-conscious paranoia at such an impossibility. Sunday night I thought of how scary it would be to be a virgin mother. How unfair it would be. What option would you have: not to let a phenomenon happen? I wonder if any of this pondering brought about ‘my time’ 2 weeks earlier than expected. The first time in a long time I make an effort to remember the exact dates it started and ended – still result in the unexpected. Maybe my body doesn’t want me to know. Or was it the work of simultaneous menstruation. My roommate had begun hers and I was surrounded by women all weekend. What pheromones permeate through space and cause signals? I wonder if it has to do with some strange biological reproductive competition or cooperation. Like our chemicals adhere to homogeneity for beneficial purposes? Our bodies act without us. Start and end without our consent. I need to flow with it more. Run with the vessel that holds the inner most part.
Cramps and aches and blood, for this latent process. Something so embedded is really an ephemeral possibility.
